No Promises Made... But it Still Hurt

I know that no promises were made at the time and so I can’t be angry with you.  But the reason why I was okay with what you said to me was because you said you weren’t ready for getting attached and that you were enjoying being your own self again, so I let my guard down, thinking that at least I wouldn’t get hurt over you finding someone else.

And here I am feeling yet again like a piece of shit, only good enough to be a fill in and not good enough for anything else.  I knew when you fobbed me off the other week, there was more too it.  And yes, you are the reason for why I became so sad…. But I couldn’t admit it to you when you asked. As you did let me down, by saying we were meeting up and then not even 12 hours later saying nah, can’t make it.

I was happy to be your friend and go with the flow.  I didn’t want to push you into anything, as I didn’t want to be one of those… but by doing that I’ve let myself down again.  I didn’t expect love, but I was hoping to finally find that amazing friendship!

I think with the way you chatted with me, I felt a part of your life, as you seemed to enjoy including me into little bits of your everyday doings, then just before New Year’s it was like I was nothing/removed from your life completely.

It's sad what you start to think inside your head when you feel let down and alone!