Growing into the real me.

'2015' was a year of major changes for me. 

It brought back some old life back into my soul, that I forgotten was even inside of me.  I did things I hadn't done in years, tried things I never had tried before and I just made myself happy again.  I can not say all the days were good, but I definitely had a lot more fun this year then I have had in a very long time.

The year started off being a major unknown, with my daughter having extreme anxiety and not wanting to go anywhere.  She went the first day to school and then that was it.  Luckily she was able to go to a regional health school a couple of times a week, with a one on one teacher.  But I had to change all my work hours, so I could be home with her during the school week and to also be able to drive her to her lesson's and doctor appointments.

My son went off to school not knowing what his new teacher was going to be like.  But she was the best, she had him assessed for a few things and found that he has Sensory Processing Disorder - (Vestibular Hyper Sensitivity.)  So they have been working with him and helping him to achieve what he needs to get the most out of his day at school, without him getting easily distracted and or frustrated all the time.

Then there is me, finally getting back into the real world.  Went out dancing again, drank myself a few cocktails with my great neighbour, got myself another three Tattoo's and tried online dating. 

Did my first half marathon, which was down on the Queen Charlotte Track of the South Island. 

I think the hardest thing about this year was putting myself out there again.  I know I wanted to find a nice fellow, but I wasn't sure what or how far I wanted to go.  Some guys gave you their opinion straight away, just want a booty call and nothing more.  Some guys thought they knew what they were looking for, but after a few dates...they started to re-access themselves with either not actually being ready; too actually being to busy to fit another person into their lives.  I think the easiest relationship I've had this year, was my Friends with Benefits.  The first time he broke it off with me was hard, as I had just come out of my shell and started to feel alive again, to then be dumped for someone else.  I really didn't know how to put myself back into my old way of thinking and feeling.  So even though it did feel like it broke me, in the end it made me more determined to change. 

So this is when I joined the online dating scene and had my naïve world turned upside down.  The amount of men out there that are just looking for a quick hook up is unbelievable and then their was the ones that were so young.  I came across two guys after my FWB break up, but as I mentioned earlier, they both couldn't continue due to their own reason's.  So again I felt rejected in myself, but again it just made me stronger in continuing in my quest for change.  So at the start of this year I was single and at the end of this year, yes I'm still single and it looks like I'm going into 2016 being still single, but that's okay.  I have opened myself up to meeting new people, getting out more and trying real hard in having my kind of fun. 

I celebrated my Divorce in October 2015 and I actually made it to my work Christmas function, which normally I never get invited too.  So things are looking up for me and I do have some promising possibilities lined up hopefully in the New Year, fingers crossed.