Kiwiana Girl Tells All

When I found out I was pregnant, I was happy, sad, confused and thought the timing was all wrong.  We had just moved back to Taranaki in February 2002 and I struggled for the first time in my life to find employment.  End of April I did get a job at a Furniture store, but I hated it even before I started working there.  Luckily, I found a better job and started that in early July, to then find out two weeks later that I was one month pregnant.  Back in those days, to qualify for maternity leave, you had to at least been working a whole year by the time you gave birth.  I was going to be short of that by three months, so I had started a great new job, but needed to take maternity leave only nine months later and wasn't going to get paid any money while on maternity leave.  I was an emotional wreck, as keeping ourselves a float financially was my job and I knew that we both needed to stay in work to keep a roof over our head and to stop...

'2015' was a year of major changes for me.  It brought back some old life back into my soul, that I forgotten was even inside of me.  I did things I hadn't done in years, tried things I never had tried before and I just made myself happy again.  I can not say all the days were good, but I definitely had a lot more fun this year then I have had in a very long time. The year started off being a major unknown, with my daughter having extreme anxiety and not wanting to go anywhere.  She went the first day to school and then that was it.  Luckily she was able to go to a regional health school a couple of times a week, with a one on one teacher.  But I had to change all my work hours, so I could be home with her during the school week and to also be able to drive her to her lesson's and doctor appointments. My son went off to school not knowing what his new teacher was going to be like.  But she was the best, she had him...

When I started learning to drive at the age of sixteen, I never thought I would enjoy the look and sound of certain vehicles.  If I could own any car in the world, what would I pick? When I got my learners licence, I needed a car to practice in; as my parents did not own their own car at the time.  I was lucky to have saved a little money and my parents were happy to help out.  Datsun 120Y Coupe So with my first car purchased, I was ready to practice driving a manual transmission.  I was learning to drive through a driving school once or twice a week and I fell in love with the Suzuki Swift that I was learning in.  Taking my Datsun out for it's first spin with my Dad, we stopped in Kilbirnie and my Dad asked me to do a U-turn.  Well, I did the U-turn...but it was more like a donut with the car about to lean into a two wheel side on.  I freaked my Dad out, but it just got my adrenalin pumping and I was proud on how well I handled it....

Not sure if my title has anything to do with what I ended up writing about, but what a title don't you think! I'm in two minds at the moment.  For people that know me well, they know that I have been a big girl all my life.  Never known what a flat stomach looks or feels like and even after my huge weight loss a few years ago, that desire still was not achieved...even with the endless hours at the gym.  So over time, I gave up the dream of ever having the perfect stomach and decided to just try and love what I have.  This of course lead me to gain weight again, but I have stabilised at a certain weight for over a year now and I just seem to fluctuate around it.  The only thing that has made this weight gain worth while, is the fact that I got my cleavage back.  So I have such a dilemma.  Do I try and get back to the weight I got to last time, knowing that I will not get the stomach I wish to have, but then ending up losing my cleavage. ...

I'm really a very shy person and  I don't even like talking on the telephone, I have much better conversation's via Text or Face Book messaging, because I have time to think and then I don't end up getting my words tongue tied.  Of course, once I get comfortable with someone, the telephone does get a little easier, but my parents are really the only people that I telephone.  I have only a small network of Family and Friends.  Because having been an only child, I learnt how to keep myself company and being an overweight girl to boot, staying at home for me was the answer.  But over the years, I regret those days.  I missed out on so much back then, and when I was recently in town one night, I watched all the younger ones out enjoying themselves, I thought "Man, I wish I had done that when I was their age."  Because now I want to be doing it, but everyone my age seem to be over it, too b...

Never really dated before I married, guys never seemed interested.  But then I didn't get out much, as I was shy and had no confidence in myself. I ended up marrying the first guy that actually noticed me and took the time to date me, but then look how that turned out! I left him; and then thought maybe I don't need a man to enjoy life... convinced myself of this for five years, but really I was just lying to myself.  It was a sad and lonely time. I don't think I'm a complicated person, I'm not high maintenance.  Who ever I date, it will be their choice of if they want anything to do with my kids.  I don't want to change anyone, they can carry on enjoying time with their mates and drinking etc, I just hope they will fit some time for me in their schedule. I'm an easy to please person... all I want is a part time friend, boyfriend, movie watcher, cuddler, lover, holidaying partner, drinker, dancer and an all around have fun with type of gu...

Coming up to my 40th Birthday, with all the changes in my life I decided I needed to symbolise my new found freedom, my beautiful children, where I was mentally at and where I was heading. Always wanted a tattoo, but never knew what and where I wanted it, as I had always been a heavy girl and didn't want to put it in the wrong place with fear of it looking ugly after weight loss or weight gain. January 2013 Dolphins are my most favourite mammal and so I decided that my first tattoo was going to be Dolphins and these Dolphins were to represent my two beautiful children.  So of course two weeks after I turned 40, I went and got my first tattoo done and it was the perfect first choice. After that, I just wanted another... But what and where.  It wasn't until I was coming up to my 42nd Birthday that the idea of another tattoo came to me.  I decided that I wanted to have a Maori looking Capricorn symbol on the back of my lower neck, so I went searching of a d...