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My Weekend Away to Martinborough 1st to 3rd of February 2019

Purchases from the Martinborough Fair and  the American Car Festival What an amazing weekend I had… I know most of my posts over the years have been downers and mediocre stories of my mental issues, picking the wrong men and just not feeling like my life had any purpose. I’ve had good and great weekends over the years with my family and close friends, but this weekend there was a difference.   Not only did I do the usual weekend away stuff, I was also challenged in the most unexpected way, which was also a happy surprise to my companion whom had suggested the challenge casually over the last couple of weeks, but thinking that maybe I wasn’t up to it. I too wasn’t so sure, as I had many questions due to the ways my ex-husband behaved, which ended up giving me the wrong impression.   I have always thought of myself as an open minded person and when this came up in conversation, I automatically had visions of my ex-husband and so I needed to explain my reservation.  
Recent posts

Stay Single Until...

Love is an emotion that should be experienced in its fullest capacity. It is not easy to find a true lover these days but if someone finds him/her, then he/she will understand how beautiful the life will be with true love. It is something that is worth waiting for, we see some people making relationships just for the sake of having one and most of these relationships end in total tragedies, so, if you are singe wait for the time where you will be able to find the best person for your life and never settle lower for anything. #1 Choose to be with someone who can’t stand to be apart from you Find someone who cannot even think of leaving you. Find the person who enjoys being with you in every step that you take and who cannot stay even a day without seeing you. The right person who loves you truly will enjoy seeing you every day, every hour and every minute. #2 Stay single until you find someone who always calls to check on you The right person will always have time for you and

Living and loving organically

When did finding love orgnically become so difficult? I have been questioning this a fair bit lately and have discussed it with others till I've turned blue in the face. I have now done some online research and this anology of living and loving organically is exactly what I've been trying to explain to others. It's common for relationships to be contrived because most of us believe being single means something is missing from our lives. We obsessively look for what we consider a missing piece of ourselves. Or others see sex as the only way to date. This search influences our concepts of love to be built upon the foundation of fear. Our lack of self-worth blocks the natural organic flow of relating. We can use the nature of gardening as a template to follow when it comes to cultivating relationships. When you plant a seed it takes time and gentle care to assist in the blossoming process. Root based plants such as beets and carrots will take longer to sprout when compared

Call me Lady Luck

So I’ve come to the conclusion that I seem to be everyone else’s lucky charm.   I have gone on a few dates over the past three and a half years, a quarter of them weren’t my cup of tea, another quarter I wasn’t their cup of tea, another quarter they just wanted one thing only and finally the quarter that I thought was going to work out, the guy ends up pulling away just as it’s time to decide if we are heading into relationship status! They end up saying that old stigma 'It’s not you, it’s me, it's just that I don’t think I’m ready to be in a relationship yet.   But funny enough they were the ones that stated that they were looking for a relationship.   Anyway, after the hurting has stopped and I get on with my life as I know it…. Alone.   I end up seeing a status on their facebook page saying there in a relationship.   WTF… again they decided that I wasn't the one, but as soon as they walk away from me, they end up having all the luck of finding their lady l

What is in my Future?

Over the past month I've been re-analysing my life.  It all started when my parents finally put an offer on a house in Taupo and had it accepted.  I'm 45 years old and they have been spending a week every year there for as long as I can remember and they decided years ago that Taupo was where they would retire someday.  The only thing is, they have their current home and jobs in Wellington and aren't due to leave for Taupo for at least another 18 months.  Which means, finding someone to rent their new home in Taupo to pay for their new mortgage.  So their first choice was to ask if I would be interested in uprooting myself and my two kids (Age 15 & 10) from Wellington, to rent out their new home in Taupo.  I spent a week or so thinking about this and I just couldn't think of a good enough reason to move, other then to be a good daughter and help my parents out. My Parents new house in Taupo. I've also been getting friendly with this really nice truc

Absolutely Confused.

Had been FB friends for over a year, met for coffee a couple of times when he was in Wellington.  About six Months back he was actually staying in Wellington off and on, and he tried to get me to come visit him late one night, just for cuddles.  But I said no, as thou I enjoyed his support and chats, I was not needing or wanting to go down that road with him.  He apologised the next day for being so persistent the previous night and we just went back to being our old selves as FB friends. Saturday just been, we had a perfectly normal chat.  He spoke about what he was planning to do moving on, as he'd left a job that wasn't working for him.  I filled him in with the kids and how I was just plodding along with the online dating thing again but wasn't being the stupid nieve girl, I was a couple of years back.  He told me about some girl flops he'd had recently and how he had given up on the search.  Our conversation had ended on a Will Smith life coach video and all was

My Back-Ups Keep Failing.

It's occurred to me that I have difficulty adjusting when a New Year commences.  When the curtain is due to come down at the End of the year; it's early December and I feel full of hope and promise, that finally I'm going to step into the New Year with a thicker skin and a knowledge that finally I'm on a new road to discovering a better and more positive life.  Then a few weeks into the New Year, I realise that I'm exactly in the same place as the previous year and the previous year before that.  Only I am a year older, my children are a year older, everyone around me is a year older and of course I weigh more then the year before.  But weight is not what worries me so much anymore, because I know I am beautiful, I am smart, I am independent, I am trustworthy and I would give my heart and soul to the ones that I love. My life is like a Computer!!!  Where my yearly back-up has been failing for a few years now and so when I get re-booted at the start of the New Yea