I really did think I was an idiot!
I felt like I had lost how to connect with the opposite sex
or maybe I never had been able to connect and that was why I have always
struggled with dating.
I have in the past blamed it on the guy and yes, sometimes
it has been their doing, because all they wanted was one thing. But other times it’s me. I can be so stupid and rush into something,
especially when it feels amazing from the get go… but I always ended up getting
hurt. Other times there is nothing at
the start and so I don’t persevere. But
what if I had, what if those first couple of dates that seemed okay, but the
kisses did nothing was just a learning curve.
What if I had tried a little longer, got more comfortable and found that
the kisses and the moments became more amazing!
But what if it didn’t and then I ended up hurting them, because then I
would hate myself and feel like I had strung them along… which is what usually
happens to me all the time and I don’t want to be a person that hurts anyone.
What if even though I don’t feel anything, but persevered
and went down the road to actually having sex with them, would that possibly
change how I feel? Or is it really just
a matter of me taking my time to grow with them, learn who they are by spending
regular time with them and just seeing if any sparks take off!
Guys of my age, are always wanting direct answers to their
questions. Many times I just don’t have
an answer, as I’m not where they are yet in the feelings department. When I get questions of that nature, I blush
horrendously and giggle like a stupid school girl. I have no idea how to do
anything naturally, I always feel like I’m a robot. I do get over that feeling if I really dig
someone, but there has to be that connection and for me I have to be
comfortable with that person on all levels, but no guy wants to wait that long
or even put the effort into waiting and seeing if it will ever happen.
I have lately been questioning a lot of things about myself. And after writing this I had a light bulb go
off in my brain or a questioning light bulb to be more exact. What does asexual mean? So I looked it up and read all the definition’s
and then went and did this quiz: http://brainfall.com/quizzes/user-quiz-300/#B1651jjig
And my results were…z
QUIZ COMPLETE
Your Result: GREY-A
Chances are, you could be Grey-A.
This means that more often than not, you don't experience sexual attraction to
someone, however there are times when you do. These feelings can often change
from one to the other. However most Grey-A people prefer to think of themselves
as asexual.
 |
| I can actually relate to both of these. |
Check out the below link if your interested in finding out more:
http://www.wikihow.com/Understand-Asexual-People
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